Relationship Tarot: Before, During and After a Relationship

Draw your cards for your relationship

What relationship tarot can really show – and what it can’t

To be honest: nobody can use cards to read the secret thoughts of a third, absent person as verifiable fact – not even serious tarot. What the cards can do, though, is show you how the connection between the two of you looks right now – closeness, distance, reciprocity, tension – and, at the same time, what you bring to it yourself. Where do you stand in this connection? What do you hope for? What do you fear? What might you be overlooking because you’re too close?

That’s no consolation prize for „real fortune-telling“ – it is actually the more useful view. You can’t change another person’s thoughts anyway. Your own clarity, your own next action – those you can.

Before: The uncertain early days

This is exactly where most people ask their first question: Does he really like me? What does this message mean? Is there really something between us? This uncertainty is completely normal – at the start of a possible connection, nobody knows exactly where they stand, not even the other person.

The Fool

Classic meaning: A new beginning, open-mindedness, a leap into the unknown without a guarantee.

In the context of the early days: The Fool reminds you that every new connection begins with uncertainty – and that it is precisely this openness, not knowing how it will turn out, that gives the beginning its charm.

Reflection question: Can I bear this uncertainty right now without wanting to resolve it immediately?

Ace of Cups

Classic meaning: An open heart, an emotional new beginning, willingness to get involved.

In the context of the early days: This card often shows your own emotional opening – regardless of how the other person actually feels.

Reflection question: How far am I willing to truly open up right now?

Two of Cups

Classic meaning: Mutual attraction, a connection developing on equal footing.

In the context of the early days: Often shows real mutual interest – and the word „mutual“ matters here: this card invites you to look closely at whether the connection is truly carried by both sides.

Reflection question: Do I feel real reciprocity, or am I rather hoping it into being right now?

The Lovers

Classic meaning: A meaningful choice, alignment of values, a decision made from real connection instead of fear.

In the context of the early days: This card asks less „am I loved?“ than: Am I moving closer out of genuine alignment – or out of fear of being alone?

Reflection question: What really attracts me to this person – the person themselves, or the feeling they trigger in me?

The Moon

Classic meaning: Uncertainty, illusion, things lying in the dark that can’t quite be made out yet.

In the context of the early days: A very honest card for the early phase – it reminds you that you don’t really know the other person yet, however strong your feelings may already be.

Reflection question: Where am I filling uncertainty with my own assumptions instead of accepting it for what it is – still unclear?

A small spread for the getting-to-know-you phase

1. What do I bring into this connection?
2. What dynamic is developing between us?
3. What should I pay attention to?

Current: In an existing relationship

Once the early days are over, the questions change too: no longer „does he like me?“, but rather „how are we really doing right now?“, „what do we need to work on?“, „what do we both need at the moment?“

The Sun

Classic meaning: Real joy, warmth, an uncomplicated, lively connection.

In the context of an existing relationship: Often shows a phase in which the relationship feels light and right – or reminds you of how that should feel if it doesn’t at the moment.

Reflection question: When did I last feel real, uncomplicated joy in this relationship?

The Empress

Classic meaning: Care, abundance, a loving, nurturing way of treating each other.

In the context of an existing relationship: This card asks whether both sides truly feel cared for right now – care that flows in only one direction is rarely stable in the long run.

Reflection question: Do I feel nourished in this relationship right now, or am I giving more than I get back?

Ten of Cups

Classic meaning: Emotional fulfillment, a deep, stable sense of belonging together.

In the context of an existing relationship: One of the strongest cards for emotional connection and long-term fulfillment – less the excited intensity of the early days than a quiet feeling of togetherness.

Reflection question: What does real, long-term fulfillment in a relationship look like for me personally?

Two of Wands

Classic meaning: Planning, a shared look ahead, a decision about the direction to take.

In the context of an existing relationship: Can point to a phase in which your shared direction becomes the topic – plans for the future, moving, decisions, or the question of whether you’re both pursuing the same goal.

Reflection question: Which question about our shared future am I rather putting off right now?

Five of Wands

Classic meaning: Friction, differing interests, competition, confrontation.

In the context of an existing relationship: Not every conflict means a relationship is failing. This card can show that different needs or ideas are clashing more strongly than usual – perfectly normal relationship life, not automatically a big crisis.

Reflection question: Are we arguing about the actual problem right now – or only about how it shows up?

The Tower

Classic meaning: A sudden upheaval, a structure that no longer holds and collapses.

In the context of an existing relationship: This card can indicate a surprising conflict or an unavoidable, long-overdue truth – uncomfortable, but often the beginning of something more genuine.

Reflection question: Which truth about this relationship is hard for me to look at right now?

A small spread for your existing relationship

1. Where do we stand right now?
2. What needs attention?
3. What development is possible?

After the relationship: Separation and a fresh start

This phase is often overlooked online, even though it occupies at least as many people as the early days. An honest note up front: tarot can’t reliably predict whether a separation is final or whether your ex-partner will come back – because that development depends not only on you, but also on the other person’s decisions. What the cards can show, though, is which dynamic the separation has for you right now and where you stand in your own process of letting go and reorienting.

Death

Classic meaning: A profound transition – something ends so that something new can begin.

In the context of a separation: This card is not a bad omen, but describes exactly what is happening right now: a real, meaningful transition that needs time and space.

Reflection question: What exactly is coming to an end in me right now – and what could take its place?

The Hanged Man

Classic meaning: A conscious pause, a changed perspective, willingness to wait instead of act.

In the context of a separation: A reminder that not every phase after a breakup calls for immediate action – sometimes the conscious pause is itself the most important step.

Reflection question: Where am I trying to force something right now that actually needs time?

Eight of Cups

Classic meaning: Consciously walking away from something that no longer nourishes, in search of something deeper.

In the context of a separation: Often shows the courage to truly let a connection go, instead of emotionally clinging to something that is already over.

Reflection question: What am I still holding on to, even though I already sense inside that it’s time to let go?

The Star

Classic meaning: Hope, healing, a quiet reawakening of trust after a difficult phase.

In the context of a separation: One of the most comforting cards in the deck – it reminds you that healing usually begins slowly, often before you notice it consciously yourself.

Reflection question: Which small sign of hope am I overlooking right now because I’m still waiting for the big breakthrough?

The World

Classic meaning: Completion, a finished cycle, the feeling of truly having arrived.

In the context of a separation: Often shows that a chapter is truly closed – not suppressed or forgotten, but integrated and processed.

Reflection question: How would I know that I have truly come to terms with this separation?

A small spread for the time after a separation

1. What am I still holding on to?
2. What helps me let go?
3. What may emerge anew?

If these lines touch on a difficult time in your life right now: you don’t have to get through it alone. Talking with people close to you, or with a professional if you need to, can be a valuable complement to any self-reflection.